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The monthly e mail newsletter for business professionals who want growth from Energise Brand Communications Ltd and Rachel Brushfield.

The purpose of this newsletter is to share simple tips and tools to make your life and work easier and help you to market yourself and your business as a unique brand.

This month’s theme is about…………… The danger of making assumptions..

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Have you ever made an assumption about how something will be done or what will happen and then been surprised or frustrated about things turning out differently to what you expected? Or have you ever created meaning from what someone has done or said without checking the reality or facts? Shortcuts in understanding can lead to long roads of confusion and frustration! It is really easy to make an assumption because we assume that other people think like us and would do what we naturally think is logical. Unfortunately this isn’t the way the world works. With years of working or living together, it gets easier to make assumptions about what we think someone wants or what they will think, feel or do. Is it not dangerous to be assumptive about assumptions?!

An assumption is defined in the dictionary as ‘taking something for granted’. So why do we take something for granted? Because we think we’ve been clear when we haven’t; because we think we’ve spelled things out when we haven’t; because we think we can get away with something or cutting corners when we’re busy, when we can’t. Children have been left waiting to be collected after school, relationships have ended because of lack of nurturing, tasks have been done incorrectly, tasks have been duplicated, house moves have taken twice as long as they needed to, all because assumptions have been made.

In this newsletter:

• Why we make assumptions
• The pitfalls of assuming meaning with no evidence
• 10 tips to avoid making assumptions

Why we make assumptions

We make assumptions because we mistakenly assume that what is important to us, our values, and what we believe is the same for other people, when it’s not. No-one, not even identical twins have had exactly the same experiences, lives, problems and so it is impossible for us to completely know why someone is how they are or does what they do. No wonder life is complex because we rely so much on interactions with other people.

Our values and beliefs shape how we see the world and how we screen information. Values are the things that are important to us e.g. honesty, loyalty, success, belonging etc and beliefs e.g. my work must be perfect, men must behave as gentlemen etc are what we believe to be true based on our experiences. Both values and beliefs shape our view of the world, our attitudes and our behaviours. Because we can’t see inside people’s heads and only hear what they share with us, we get ourselves into all sorts of pickles by making assumptions, filtering information through the filters of our own unique values and beliefs.

The pitfalls of assuming meaning with no evidence

It is easy to create meaning out of nothing. Especially with fear and insecurity a normal part of being human. We can tie ourselves in all sorts of knots with this one! Much mental energy and chatter is wasted.

Are you a good mind-reader? Are you an expert at creating meaning from what others do and say without checking? Here’s some examples:

• your boss doesn't chat with you as much as they do with your colleague, so you assume that they don't like you as much
• your parents don't show an interest in your life, so you assume they doesn't care
• your partner doesn't call when they say they will, so you assume they are getting up to something
• your phone doesn't ring all weekend, so you assume that everyone is out having a whale of a time partying and you are the only ‘Norman no mates' at home in the UK by yourself
• you don't get a promotion when you expect, so you assume the company doesn't want you to stay
• your phone call to a prospect doesn't get returned, so you assume they aren't interested in working with you
• a friend doesn't get in touch with you for a while, so you assume they are not bothered about the friendship when the reality might be that they might be ill, going through an emotional crisis or under immense pressure at work
• a colleague in a different department doesn't do what you asked them to do so you assume that they are inefficient when actually you don't really know the reason for their lack of response

10 tips to avoid making assumptions

Below are 10 tips that may help you in this area:

1. Ask open (who, what, when, where, how) questions to clarify assumptions e.g. How exactly are you proposing to do that?
2. In project/team meetings and when writing proposals, spell out any assumptions being made verbally and in writing
3. Summarise what you think is being agreed to check understanding
4. When delegating to someone else, get them to replay back to you their understanding of what they are going to do. This will highlight any assumptions they are making
5. Get into the habit of having a ‘ what assumptions am I making?” self-check before winding yourself into a frenzy and letting your imagination go AWOL about things that frustrate you
6. Remember that younger people have less years and experiences to draw upon when making decisions than people with more years on the clock, so consider mentoring them
7. Listen to your internal mental chatter and make sure that you've had an external conversation to check assumptions as well as an internal one
8. If in doubt, ask and double check
9. Don't get lazy or complacent and make assumptive short cuts just because you think you know someone well. It's dangerous and you may end up with egg on your face
10. Ask yourself “ Where/when does making assumptions cause me problems and what can I do about it?”

I’m making the assumption that you read this newsletter. I get feedback about many of you reading it. Could I make it more useful for you? What topics would you like in future?

I’m assuming that if you feel strongly enough about this you’ll let me know!

We look forward to hearing from you. Have a great July.

Cheers

Rachel Brushfield ©
Director, coach and marketing mentor
Energise – Insight & Clarity for Growth

Previous newsletter topics include: follow up; making big decisions; managing yourself; being specific; rewarding relationships; career crossroads; 2005 stock take; becoming unstuck; self-promotion; safe risk; optimism; more health, wealth and happiness; how to handle ‘difficult’ people; how to stop wasting and save time; maximising your potential;how to do absolutely nothing; listening; career choice and change; stress; focus for results; procrastination; reflection; fear; rapport; productivity; self-branding; beliefs; time management and S.M.A.R.T. goals.

If you’d like to receive a back copy of any of these, please e mail us to mail@energisingconnector.co.uk putting the Energise Tips & Tools newsletter of interest in the subject box.

Contact

Rachel Brushfield
Energise Brand Communications Ltd.
t +44 (0) 845 22 55 010
m +44 (0) 7973 911137
mail@energisingconnector.co.uk
www.energisingconnector.co.uk/
Offices in WC2 and Chiswick W6

Helping business professionals make leap ups.

Energise - Insight & Clarity for Growth

Our services are:
C areer coaching, CV design & personalised outplacement
A ction learning sets
M arketing & brand mentoring
E xecutive coaching
L ife coaching

More tips and tools

Our web site has a ‘Tips and tools’ section, which is regularly updated, sharing free tips and tools to help make life easy. Why not check it out? Visit www.energisingconnector.co.uk and click on the Tips & Tools button

Why Energise?

There are lots of coaching companies, so why choose us? Here’s some facts about Energise:

WHY:

We feel strongly about helping people to help themselves and are passionate about addressing low self-esteem & lack of self-belief in society that so often acts as a brake to people maximising their potential. Often people don’t recognise their own talents and potential, so with our background in marketing and brand communications, we help our clients to market themselves as a unique brand so they maximise their potential

HOW:

We personalise our service to the individual and get to the heart of the matter fast, so are time and cost effective. We are down to earth, focused and focusing, practical, human and energising. Unlike many coaching companies, we do not insist on a contract, so coaching is flexible from as little as 1 hour a month.

WHO:

We work with: big companies including Diageo, Sony Ericsson, Cranfield University, AWAS and Clifford Chance, small businesses and many individuals. We also do pro-bono work for selected charities e.g. working with disaffected young people and prisoners.

WHERE:

Our central London office is on Denmark Street, WC2 - the Energise ThinkSpace which is also available for hire, we coach from our West London home office in W6 and on the telephone

WHEN:

Energise was set up in 1997 so we have an established track record of 8 years plus 10 years full time experience before that. We coach our clients from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday – Friday. We work with people at a crossroads/point of transition in their lives and jobs, helping them to define their goals and realise and maximise their potential.

WHAT:

Our services are:
C areer coaching, CV design & personalised outplacement
A ction learning sets
M arketing & brand mentoring
E xecutive coaching
L ife coaching

Memberships

Energise have professional memberships with:
The Chartered Institute of Marketing (CIM)
The International Coaching Federation (ICF)
The Chartered Institute of Personnel Development (CIPD)
Business Network International (BNI).

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